A Look Inside

Sometimes I wonder
     just how life would be.
If people around me
     could see what I see.
For good or for bad –
     could go either way.
There’s always a reason
     I say what I say.

My mind’s always thinking,
     I can’t make it rest.
It looks for the answers
     that always are best.
I wish I could say
     they always are found.
But some days I’m lost,
     just wandering around.

I’ve learned to examine
     these thoughts in my mind.
To see if their truth,
     in God’s Word I find.
If they don’t measure up,
     I know they’re not true.
They’re just random thoughts
     from out of the blue.

While something within me
     does long to be heard.
So often I’m silent,
     not saying a word.
For fear does take over,
     I’ve seen it before.
What if I speak and
     the response is ignore?

It’s happened too often,
     at least in my past.
The decisions are made
     before I’m even asked.
The pain is too great
     to think no one cares.
So my thoughts stay with me
     and they can keep theirs.

There is a problem
     with a conclusion like this.
To learn from each other
     too often we miss.
To speak and to listen
     are both hard to do.
Perhaps one for me
     and perhaps one for you.

So we make every effort,
     the bonds of peace to maintain.
Through the power of the Spirit
     and the Lamb that was slain.
We look at each other
     as a creation of God.
We may be unique
     but we’re surely not odd.

God has a purpose
     for someone like me.
I hold to this truth
     even if I can’t see.
He also has purpose
     for someone like you.
You’re His creation
     so I know this is true.

So when we differ
     in how we perceive.
Find our common ground
     in the One we believe.
Since we both have value
     that’s given from above.
Our response to each other
     should always be love.

© 2015 by Tom Lemler

I’ve been in the church building this evening cleaning and then waiting for some meetings to finish up so I can finish getting the building ready for tomorrow. As I waited, I went outside to walk the trails and spend time with God where this poem showed up in my mind. If I allow my mind to dwell in the past too long, it seems like I can find far too many times when I’ve tested the waters of speaking my mind or making my desires known only to end up with the feeling of being rejected as my requests are declined or I’m moved out of roles so they can be filled by someone with better credentials or pedigree. I’m not sure why God gave me this poem other than to offer the readers a glimpse into my mind — scary place that it is. 🙂 I pray that God uses it for His purposes and His glory.

In prayer,
Tom