A Look Inside

Sometimes I wonder
     just how life would be.
If people around me
     could see what I see.
For good or for bad –
     could go either way.
There’s always a reason
     I say what I say.

My mind’s always thinking,
     I can’t make it rest.
It looks for the answers
     that always are best.
I wish I could say
     they always are found.
But some days I’m lost,
     just wandering around.

I’ve learned to examine
     these thoughts in my mind.
To see if their truth,
     in God’s Word I find.
If they don’t measure up,
     I know they’re not true.
They’re just random thoughts
     from out of the blue.

While something within me
     does long to be heard.
So often I’m silent,
     not saying a word.
For fear does take over,
     I’ve seen it before.
What if I speak and
     the response is ignore?

It’s happened too often,
     at least in my past.
The decisions are made
     before I’m even asked.
The pain is too great
     to think no one cares.
So my thoughts stay with me
     and they can keep theirs.

There is a problem
     with a conclusion like this.
To learn from each other
     too often we miss.
To speak and to listen
     are both hard to do.
Perhaps one for me
     and perhaps one for you.

So we make every effort,
     the bonds of peace to maintain.
Through the power of the Spirit
     and the Lamb that was slain.
We look at each other
     as a creation of God.
We may be unique
     but we’re surely not odd.

God has a purpose
     for someone like me.
I hold to this truth
     even if I can’t see.
He also has purpose
     for someone like you.
You’re His creation
     so I know this is true.

So when we differ
     in how we perceive.
Find our common ground
     in the One we believe.
Since we both have value
     that’s given from above.
Our response to each other
     should always be love.

© 2015 by Tom Lemler

I’ve been in the church building this evening cleaning and then waiting for some meetings to finish up so I can finish getting the building ready for tomorrow. As I waited, I went outside to walk the trails and spend time with God where this poem showed up in my mind. If I allow my mind to dwell in the past too long, it seems like I can find far too many times when I’ve tested the waters of speaking my mind or making my desires known only to end up with the feeling of being rejected as my requests are declined or I’m moved out of roles so they can be filled by someone with better credentials or pedigree. I’m not sure why God gave me this poem other than to offer the readers a glimpse into my mind — scary place that it is. 🙂 I pray that God uses it for His purposes and His glory.

In prayer,
Tom

3 thoughts on “A Look Inside

  1. I don’t know Tom, but it seems to me that God gave you a gift (or sometimes it seems a curse) of creativity. (motivated to be creative). As an artist and being married to an artist, I know how rejection can hurt, (well, rejection hurts anyone’s feelings). I remember submitting artwork to committees, and subcommittees. Sometimes its just that peoples egos want a say in the project too (even if it is the UGLY power to just say NO) and so to get projects moving we learned to let committees, (and other people) give their opinion, have their say, make their changes, redesign. remove, redo, re, re, re, rewhatever, and even take credit, full credit sometimes, just to get the project going. Don’t worry if the project is filled by someone else, God might have something more important for you to think or pray about or talk to you about. Keep coming up with those ideas and let them be dispersed among the people to handle. You must be the “idea man” !! Don’t worry about the “No” people, Jesus faced “NO” at every turn. If God gave you the idea and God wants it, You will overcome those NO egos with Christ’s Love. God Bless, Idea Man.

    • Thanks! I continue to find it amazing the things that God does through me that gives the illusion of creativity on my part. 🙂 The people who know me the best and longest would laugh at the word creative being used to describe me . . . until they begin to look at the things that I have been able to do by allowing God to work through me. My writing, my preaching/teaching, my photography, and whatever else people find worthy of consideration have all been unexpected gifts which make it easy to know and say that they have come from God. Even this poem that seems to describe some of the inner-workings of my mind was not a work that I did other than to type it out. All of the poems God has given me to write are typed out in 10 – 15 minutes, or as fast as I can get the words from my mind to the keyboard as the whole thing is there in my mind when I realize I need to type it out. 🙂

      Anyhow, I appreciate your comments and encouragement. Sometimes my flesh becomes weary as I watch people and organizations struggle when I’m confident the struggle wouldn’t be so great if they would continue to put into practice a prayer-based lifestyle and reliance on God for everything But too often the temptation to do things according to the wisdom of man is too great and I’m left wondering who long it will be before the seeds I have planted will germinate, take root, and grow.

      • God is so Overwhelmingly Good to us. After a winter of not being able to do my art work, due to a back injury, I put my focus on prayer, and study, and God put plenty of other things in my way for me to focus on. It was an amazing winter really, as one of the worst weatherwise it was here in Maine. And then, it was time to get back to art work again, and it has been amazing what a work he has done in me. Instead of losing artistic style, having been away from it for months, a totally new style has emerged from within me. A new gift has developed in me and I am ever so grateful that every work should be for Him and by Him through me. I have never painted in this way or so well. This, I am certain, is a God Thing. Thank you God, for you Tom, and me. Keep up the good work.

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