Page 38 began after finally getting a decent night’s sleep for the most part.  Now if I can get a few more of those, I might start feeling rested again after several nights in a row of Susan’s restlessness which made sleep in short supply for all of us.  While not eager to wake up when the alarm went off this morning, at least it wasn’t painful to do so as it has been on previous mornings.  As I got to work, I set about taking care of the cleaning and building prep tasks that need done each day.  Rain had moved in overnight and continued throughout the day, so while night did eventually turn into day, there was not a visible sunrise to photograph this morning.  

After the building was ready, most of the morning was spent taking care of the record-keeping for the church missions ministry.  As I worked, I got word that there was a leak around one of the skylights in the gym.  I took it as a sign that spring was approaching, as each year the freeze and thaw cycle creates a leak in at least one of the skylights.  With rain all day, there was nothing I could do on a wet, sloped metal roof, so a bucket goes under the leak until a dry day shows up with above freezing temperatures.  

When the accounting work was done, I could change hats and turn my attention to some prayer ministry correspondence.  Part of that correspondence dealt with some questions about my teaching some workshops later this year.  While part of the group’s desire is for some workshops on developing a lifestyle of prayer, there were questions about a potential subject that I called, “Tell Your Story, Give God the Credit”.  This title came to me nearly three years ago shortly after my first poetic devotional book was published.  People were consistently asking me about the book and specifically about the poems God had given me to write.  Because the poems would just show up in my mind, I never felt good about taking the credit for them.  So, I would use the opportunities afforded by the questions to tell my story and give God the credit.  I believe all of us have a story to tell about where we are currently at in our life and if we have been paying attention, we can tell that story in a way that God receives the credit.

During one of the time periods when the rain intensity slowed down, a pair of cardinals showed up outside my office window to enjoy a snack of berries.  Today’s photo is of the male cardinal with a firm grasp on a pair of twigs while he was actually singing quite beautifully.  I love the beauty of the cardinals as they spend time in the brush outside my window, but I also love the songs of the cardinals as they fly about making a joyful noise.  It made me wonder about my daily activity and the daily activity of so many others.  Social media gives us a variety of platforms on which we can easily make our views known — make a sound, if you will.  The question should be asked, “Is the ‘sound’ I’m making on social media a joyful noise, or just a noise?”  

As I reflect on the day, here are some thoughts/lessons that stand out to me:

• Issues or problems that develop over time are rarely resolved overnight.  They took time to develop, they will usually take time to be resolved.
• Knowing there is no easy fix shouldn’t keep us from making progress forward when we have the opportunity.
• Sometimes tasks need taken care of right away and other times we have to accept that sometimes nothing can be done right away to problem that look urgent.
• Wherever you are in life right now is a story that has some element of God working in a way that He should receive the credit.
• If you use social media, every like, share, comment, and post is noticed by someone.  Do they hear a joyful noise through your online presence, or just a noise?

Page 37 began early with the start of another work week.  It felt even earlier than what it was as Susan continues to have seizures which keep her from sleeping well and fills her with a fear or anxiety at night.  Somehow she seems to weather this better than we do as her parents, but I know that she has the worst of it so I keep pressing on with my daily schedule and pray for her comfort and peace of mind.  As I was cleaning early this morning, I noticed the beginning of color in the eastern sky in the pre-dawn hours of morning.  There were just enough clouds dotting the sky that I anticipated a beautiful sunrise so I set up my camera with a time-lapse video setting on a tripod and let it do its thing while I finished cleaning.  The result was an amazing 50 minutes of sunrise compressed into a 20 second video.  The camera only runs that setting for 50 minutes, so I missed the final trek of the sun up over the tree line as I had begun the recording too early.

Once the building was clean, the trash was taken out, and I had collected my camera, I sat down with God to work on the prayer guide for next week.  It seems that lately the first few ideas that come to mind each week end up being topics I’ve written on in the not too distant past so I end up drawing nearer to God in order to listen beyond the issues that first come to mind.  Sometimes when I do that, the topic I come up with seems so basic that I am just amazed it hadn’t come to mind before.  The topic I ended up working on today for next week’s prayer guide was one of those as I settled on a focus of doing good.  I have been in ministry settings where it seemed like “doing” was pitted against “being” with phrases like, “we are human beings not human doings”, used to indicate God’s interest in who we are as beings with what we do being irrelevant to our relationship with God.  Unfortunately, those arguments have set up a false dichotomy that tries to make us think we can somehow separate who we are from what we do.  The Bible has a lot to say about the good we ought to do and goes so far as to say that who we are as a being is defined by what we do as a servant.

By the time the prayer guide was written, formatted, and scheduled to be published next week, the work day had come to an end and it was time to head home for a late lunch.  With spring-like weather showing up for the day, we headed down to Potato Creek for a family hike after lunch.  When we arrived at the park, and eagle was perched in a tree overlooking the boat ramp so we shot some photos before he flew off and we headed out for a five mile hike.  Today’s photo is from this afternoon as he has that “eagle eye” going, keeping a close lookout for a potential meal and an even closer eye on what I’m doing.

As I reflect on the day, here are some thoughts/lessons that stand out to me:

• We rarely know fully what others are going through but careful observation can help us have greater understanding.
• Understanding goes a long way in helping us endure difficulties.
• Our response to difficulties will often reveal more about us than about the difficulty.
• Sometimes when we pray it seems like nothing is happening — at least not until we’re able to look back and see the pace of movement all at once.
• Who we are is important to God — that displays our integrity.
• What we do is important to God — that displays our character.
• Who we are ought to influence what we do and what we do ought to influence who we are — they are intertwined in such a way that they cannot be successfully separated.
• I think of my niece, Breanna, often and each time my memory of her reminds me to make the most of every opportunity that I have to spend time with my family.
• We would do well to have the eye of an eagle, keeping a careful watch on the things which are of eternal importance.

Page 36 was a Sunday, and being the first Sunday of the month I had the privilege of preaching at the North Wayne Mennonite Church in Dowagiac, Michigan as I do on the first Sunday of most months.  Susan had a night where sleep was elusive, which meant it wasn’t that easy for the rest of us to find either.  As I woke up and got dressed for the day, my mind was trying to fight through the fog of weariness as I went over the sermon plan in my head.  Some days I am pretty comfortable with the simmering and processing routine that goes on in my mind as part of the sermon prep process . . . and other days, well other days I wonder if I’m going to have anything worth listening to.  Today was one of those “other days” right up to the time I got up to share the message.  

I believe God used the simmering and processing time from throughout the week to prepare me to deliver the message He wanted regardless of how inadequate I felt.  Last year I began looking at Bible characters who either call themselves servants of the Lord, or are specifically pointed out as such in scripture.  Today we looked at the person of Joshua and how he lived out God’s command to be strong and courageous by being a servant of the Lord who was BOLD.  Unfortunately, in today’s culture we tend to equate being bold with terms such as brash, bossy, arrogant, pushy, and domineering — characteristics most of us are not too fond of when directed at us by others.  The key to the Lord’s servant being BOLD is to understand that the servant aspect is primary.

In today’s message, we looked at the following four aspect of living as a BOLD servant of the Lord:

• We start by being a Believing servant of the Lord.  As the book of Deuteronomy comes to an end, Moses begins the transfer of leadership to Joshua and three times he instructs Joshua to be strong and courageous.  After the death of Moses, we come to the book of Joshua and in the first chapter find Joshua receiving that same instruction to be strong and courageous another four times!  A bold servant believes that God can make you what He says you are to be.  With so many reminders at this point in his life, it makes me wonder if the strong and courageous Joshua from forty years earlier had lost some of his boldness and needed to once again believe that God would do what He says He will.
• We validate our believing by becoming an Obedient servant of the Lord.  The Bible makes it clear that simply saying we believe what God says is put to the test through our obedience to what He says.  Joshua had seen firsthand the consequences of disobedience as all of his peers except Caleb had perished in the wilderness over the past forty years.  His mentor, Moses, was prevented from entering the promised land because he had not obeyed.  As we look at the battle plan God presented to Joshua for the conquering of Jericho, it would appear that Joshua’s commitment to obedience would be put to the test right away.  We’re able to read the story, Joshua does obey God’s instructions and the victory is won.  Living as obedient servants of the Lord is not often tested in the areas of life where we live in agreement with God, rather it is tested when God’s instructions appear to us to make no sense.  God doesn’t look for servants who are able to explain why His Word no longer applies to us today, rather He is looking for servants that obey His Word in a way that encourages obedience from others as well.
• In addition to being a Believing and Obedient servant, a servant of the Lord also Leads.  Joshua was called to be strong and courageous, to be bold, in order to lead the people of Israel under God’s command.  A godly leader is bold because they recognize that the leader they are following is God.  While we all have unique gifts, callings, and responsibilities, we all have the ability to lead by our example.  I love what I consider God’s summary of Joshua’s leadership.  At the end of the book of Joshua, it says that all of Israel followed the Lord throughout the lifetime of Joshua and throughout the lifetime of the elders who outlived him and had experienced all that God had done for Israel during Joshua’s lifetime.  When you think about being a bold servant of the Lord, are there people around you that you are leading to a closer relationship with God by your words and actions?  A bold servant of the Lord is always leading people into relationship with God rather than leading people to himself.
• Finally, a BOLD servant of the Lord is Deliberate.  As I mentioned this morning, this is difficult for me.  I tend to have a personality that mostly floats, or “goes with the flow”.  Not that I, or you if you are like this also, have to give up my personality, but I do have to be deliberate about serving God by serving others with what He has given me.  I look at it this way; in many ways my writing has been the result of my simply going with the flow.  I didn’t set out to write, let alone have a plan to write prayer-based devotional books, but once the flow has taken me in that direction, I have become deliberate in finding ways to use the writings and books to serve and encourage others.  Joshua was not only deliberate in his pursuit of living as a servant of the Lord, he called others to make a deliberate choice regarding who they would serve.  I pray that you and I would always be able to be deliberate about choosing to serve God and that our life would always echo the words of Joshua, “as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Today’s photo was taken a couple days ago along the shoreline of Lake Michigan.  When I look at it, I first see the tree standing alone in the sand along the waterfront.  I think of the shifting sand along dunes that seems to be in constant motion yet in the midst of all the change and uncertainty, here is a tree that has taken a stand — perhaps a bold stand — and remains firmly planted by a stream (lake) of water.  In seasons other than winter, it continues to provide welcomed shade and relief for many a beach-goer.

As I reflect on the day, here are some thoughts/lessons that stand out to me:

• When one part of the family (body) suffers they all suffer — I think I’ve read that somewhere. 
• Preparation allows God to share through you what He has put in you even when you wonder if you’re ready.
• It seems everyone wants to be number one, or the greatest.  I have news that shouldn’t be too much of secret, whoever wants to be great must become servant of all — I think I’ve read that one somewhere also. 
• Being a bold servant requires that we Believe God can and will do what He says.
• Being a bold servant requires that we Obey God in everything that He has said.
• Being a bold servant requires the we Lead people to a closer relationship with God by our words and actions.
• Being a bold servant requires that we are Deliberate about using every aspect of God’s gifting in our life to serve others.
• God’s desire is that each of us would flourish as a tree planted by streams of water which yields its fruit in due season.  Is your life bearing good fruit?

After a long workday yesterday, page 35 was knocking on the door by the time I got home and began to unwind last night.  That made today’s sleeping in and the delayed start to the awake part of page 35 a true benefit of getting my work done yesterday.  When I finally woke up and got my coffee made, I headed downstairs to my desk where I spent time on social media and going through yesterday’s photos.  Throughout the morning I also spent time going over the sermon I’ll be sharing tomorrow morning in Dowagiac.  

After lunch we decided to make a quick trip to South Haven, Michigan to take some photos and see how much ice was encasing the lighthouse.  By the time we left home, the bright, sunny day had turned into a cloud-covered, gray day but that didn’t stop us from hitting the road.  When we arrived at our destination, the lighthouse was mostly clear of ice and the waves were not breaking over the pier in the dramatic fashion I had hoped for.  While not exactly what I was hoping for, there were still photo opportunities to be found.  Today’s photo is one of those opportunities as I looked down the pier toward the lighthouse and could see a glimmer of color on the far horizon as the sun continued its drop behind the clouds.  While the ice had mostly melted off of the lighthouse, the pier itself was still covered with a thick layer of ice.  Fortunately, most of it was either rough or slushy enough to keep the walk out to the end of the pier from being too treacherous.  There are times when the waves break over the pier to the extent that you would not be able to reach the lighthouse.  That’s when the upper part of the structure on the pier came into play in years past.  The raised “catwalk” allowed the lightkeeper access to the lighthouse when the waves would have swept him off the pier.  Given that the early lighthouses were lit with oil or kerosene lamps, it was important for the keeper to be able to get to the lighthouse regardless of the weather.  

It made me think about how important it is to walk a Christian life that makes every attempt to stay above the fray.  It is far too easy to walk a lower, wider path and then question what happened when we are swept into the tumultuous waves.  In good weather the high path looks more challenging and even less safe so instead of becoming accustomed to it when things are going well, we avoid it.  Then when the storms of life come, we continue to walk in the paths we are comfortable with and instead of walking above the fray, we find ourselves swept into it.

After taking some photos, we stopped for a snack and then headed home where I spent some more time mulling over tomorrow’s sermon before beginning to write today’s page.

As I reflect on the day, here are some thoughts/lessons that stand out to me:

• After having worked in a setting that often required late nights followed by early mornings, I am thankful for a season of life with greater balance in that area.
• Like good chili, I believe the sermons I share improve the longer they are allowed to simmer.
• Many times it is easier for us to come up with an excuse for why we don’t do something than it is to actually do it.
• Expectations can have a great ability to drive us forward, but when not met, they can be a major hindrance to our appreciating what we have.
• It is easier to learn to walk the “high road” when the weather of life is calm than when it is stormy.
• When the storms of life come, we will most likely be found walking the path that we are accustomed to.
• If ever there was a time when God’s people need to learn to walk and live above the fray of this world, it is now.

Page 34 was a Friday which means my workday started early and will end late so tomorrow can be a day to spend with my family.  After the early morning cleaning and building prep, I spent a good part of the first half of the day working on the sermon for Sunday.  As I worked on the sermon, I would take a break once in a while to take care of some maintenance tasks and keep my blood circulating.  My activity tracker that I wear buzzes if I go for an hour without it registering a certain level of movement.  Sometimes I’m in the middle of something and I just ignore it, but most of the time I get up and and stretch my legs as I walk through the building making sure the building systems are operating as they should and that there aren’t any issues that need attention.  Many days I am active enough that it never goes off, but when I’m working on a sermon, that’s a different story. 🙂  

Eventually it buzzed and I realized it was two o’clock and I had been at work for eight hours.  Knowing I would have the end of the week cleaning to do yet, I headed out for a break to get some lunch.  The sun was out bright today with hardly a cloud in the sky so even though the wind chill was making it feel very cold outside, I decided to head down to Potato Creek for a hike before returning to work to finish up the week.  When I got to the park, I decided to do something I hadn’t done for quite a while — walk all the way around the lake.  This ends up being a hike that is just under eight miles and covers a variety of trails and roads in order to make a complete loop around the lake.  As I walked past the beach area, it was full of geese that were on the beach, in the water, and on the patches of ice that have formed on the lake.  With all of the activity taking place on the waterfront, today’s photo is of a group of geese who appear like they would rather be spectators than participants.  We all know people like that, right?  In fact, we’ve all probably been people like that at some point in our life, maybe more often than we care to admit.  The next time a plea is made for help — financial help, labor help, teaching help, childcare help, etc — make note of how long it takes you to respond, if you respond.  Sometimes our first reaction is to be a spectator and see if perhaps someone else will take care of whatever the need is.  Unfortunately, many have become so accustomed to the spectator response that it has been very difficult for them to move down off the wall and get involved.

After my hike, I headed back to work where I began doing the cleaning and prep necessary to have the building ready for Sunday.  After getting one end of the building ready it was time for a short snack break, so I sat down at my desk with a bag of Doritos as I wrote out today’s page.  Now that the page is mostly written, I will soon post it so I can finish cleaning the other end of the building and head home.

As I reflect on the day, here are some thoughts/lessons that stand out to me:

• It is much easier to wake up early and head into work for a long day when you know there is a balance between the long days and the days of rest.
• If there was such a thing as a wrist-worn spiritual activity tracker, I wonder how often it would buzz from a lack of meaningful activity?  I’m not talking about activity for the sake of activity, I’m talking about spiritual activity that actually draws us and/or others closer to God.
• Sometimes we need a reminder to pray, give, serve, love, and seek God as we ought.
• Studying and meditating on God’s Word should capture our attention so much that we can easily lose track of time doing so.
• Sometimes it is easy to talk ourselves out of doing something that we know would be good for us, yet pushing through and accomplishing the good can be very rewarding in so many ways.
• We’re not all called to do everything, or even the same things, but we are all called to do something.  Spectator Christianity is a contradiction in terms.
• Because we’re not all called to do the same thing, you not doing what I’m doing doesn’t make you a spectator any more then my not doing what you’re doing makes me a spectator.  The defining question is, “Am I doing what God wants me to be doing?”

After a late night of work on Wednesday, page 33 was a day to sleep in and catch up on some rest before Friday arrives with another extended length workday.  Once I was awake, I started the day trying to get hotel reservations made for the International Conference on Missions that will take place in Peoria, Illinois this fall.  Today was the first day that the conference housing blocks opened up in the hotels and once announced the ICOM website went down — I suppose from too much traffic trying to get to the hotel links.  I kept trying to get to the online site that I needed and eventually I made it on and was able to get my housing arranged for the conference.  I’m glad I kept at it because by early afternoon the report from ICOM was that all the rooms in the hotel I’m booked at, and wanted to be at, were filled.

With that task complete and the sun finally shining brightly, I pulled the pellet grill out of the garage and began the process of slow-cooking some pork chops and potatoes.  While it was still cold outside, I found that by setting the temperature control one setting higher than usual, it kept the temperature in the grill about the same as my normal cooking temp.  After lunch, we decided to brave the cold wind chills and set off on a family adventure to shoot some photos along the shoreline of Lake Michigan.  The sun shining brightly made it appear as if it should be warmer than what it was, but the beauty to be found was worth the temporary discomfort of the cold.  Today’s photo was taken through a picket fence set up on the beach in an attempt to slow down the drifting sand.  Without the fence, the wind coming off the lake tends to move the sand from the beach onto the nearby parking lots and roadways.  Sometimes we create so much wind as we talk about and promote our own ideas that God has to come along with some version of a picket fence to slow our wind down before we displace the good that He has in store for us.  

As we traveled along the Lake Michigan shoreline, a variety of clouds began to form in the sky with the sun dancing in and out from among them.  While the bright sun in a clear blue sky was great to see after so many cloudy days, the clouds that had gathered in the sky added texture and color to the scene as the sun began to set.  Once the sun set and photo opportunities had dissipated, we left the beach area and headed home after a stop for dinner.  When we arrived home, the clouds had once again disappeared and now the crystal clear sky was filled with the moon and stars.

As I reflect on the day, here are some thoughts/lessons that stand out to me:

• My mind and body usually let me know when I need to rest.  Sometimes I listen and the other times I end up wishing I had listened.
• While I had some temporary frustration in trying to make conference housing reservations this morning, it is great to know that the interest in the International Conference on Missions is enough to overwhelm a website server.
• Ideal conditions in life seem to be rather rare.
• The secret to surviving less than ideal conditions is to learn to adapt and adjust by implementing the wisdom that comes from God.
• Spending time with my family is never time wasted.  None of us know how much time our family members will be with us or how much time we will be with them.
• We can create a lot of wind in self-promoting our ideas, plans, and self.  When what we are trying to accomplish stalls out, perhaps we should consider if God is trying to throttle back the wind of pride that flows from us.
• Sometimes the things in life that we view as “clouds” actually serve to add beauty and variety to what might otherwise be a perfectly dull life.

Page 32 began with the usual cleaning and building prep, but as I was cleaning, what could best be described as snow pellets began falling from the sky.  While not a significant accumulation, they had enough substance to them to make the sidewalks slippery as they were walked on, so I took a break from the cleaning to spread some ice melt.  Once the inside and outside work had been done to get the building ready for the day, I checked on the boiler system and then settled in to work on a sermon to share at the North Wayne Mennonite Church on Sunday.  As I spent time with God in His Word working on the sermon, the repair tech showed up with the rebuilt pump he had taken off the system on Monday.  This called for a break in my sermon prep as I shifted to my maintenance responsibilities as this rebuilt pump was installed and the second one that was leaking was taken off to have it rebuilt as well.

After the service work was done as much as it could be today, I returned to the sermon prep.  As I preach once a month in Dowagiac, Michigan, I continue to work on a sermon series which I’ve titled, “Living As the Lord’s Servant”.  Each message in the series looks at some characteristics of a person from the Bible that is described as the Lord’s servant.  The objective is to understand some common characteristics that we would do well to cultivate in our life so that we can live as the Lord’s servant.  In this next sermon I will be looking at some characteristics that God wanted Joshua to have so that he could be “strong and courageous” in leading the people of Israel under God’s command.

By mid-afternoon it was time to give my mind and body a break, so after a quick lunch I headed down to Potato Creek to take some photos and do some walking.  Today’s photo shares a glimpse of the beauty that I was surrounded with during my 4+ mile walk.  While the wind was a little brisk yet today, the sun was a welcome visitor after being hidden from sight for so long.  After my walk I headed back to work where I took out trash and made sure the building was ready for our Wednesday evening Bible classes.  Once the building clears out after the classes, I will do the cleaning and prep for tomorrow before calling it a day.

As I reflect on the day, here are some thoughts/lessons that stand out to me:

• I often start the day with a plan but I try to remain flexible in it as I allow the Lord to direct my steps.
• Every time I see a Christian friend of mine like or share a social media post that deliberately mocks a person, I cringe.  If my wrist-worn activity tracker could track “cringing”, I think most days the count would be higher than my step count — that is a sad commentary on what Christians think are acceptable ways to treat people that they likely don’t even know.
• When preparing a sermon on living as the Lord’s servant, actually serving has almost as much to do with the preparation as the Bible study and prayer time.
• When God repeats the command to be strong and courageous multiple times in the first chapter of Joshua, I have to suspect that either these weren’t natural characteristics for Joshua and the people of Israel or that their strength and courage were about to be tested . . . or some combination of the two.
• A little light can be a very welcome sight after a period of darkness.  “Let your light so shine that people will see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven.”

As I walked out the door early this morning to head to work, it almost felt like spring as yesterday’s snow had turned to a light rain overnight.  With the air temperature above freezing, there was no snow or ice to worry about so page 31 began with the inside cleaning and building prep.  As I’m waiting for the repair of some of the boiler system parts, I continue to keep a fairly close eye on the heating system as I work on other projects throughout the day.  Once the building was ready for the day and the trash was taken out, I turned my attention to taking care of some missions and prayer ministry correspondence and record-keeping.  

As I worked in the office, it would alternate between period of rain and snow outside with a few breaks in the precipitation from time to time.  I suppose the weather had them all seeking cover deeper in the woods, but none of the usual wildlife made their appearance for photos today.  Instead, today’s photo is one I took yesterday of a red-bellied woodpecker feasting on a sumac seed-head.  I was surprised by the result when I looked up this bird to identify it because there appeared to be nothing red at all about its belly.  Many of the descriptions however, did talk about a red belly that is often hidden by the outer feathers.  It made me think about how often we wear a name that makes people wonder why we are called that.  When we take on the name of Christian, do people look at us and wonder why the Christ in us isn’t visible?  Are we satisfied with “putting on Christ” for our own good and benefit, but then walk out into the world with a cloak over us to keep Him from being seen in us?  I pray that the name Christian would be more noticeable in its appropriateness for us than the name red-bellied woodpecker is for this bird.

By mid-afternoon, my office work had reached a point that a break was needed.  I headed out to take care of some banking and get some lunch before making my way home.  With a day focused on finances and record-keeping, I guess it only seemed fitting to work on my taxes even though April 15 is a long way off. 🙂  While I’m generally a procrastinator when it comes to filing my taxes, every few years I surprise myself and those around me by getting them done early.

As I reflect on the day, here are some thoughts/lessons that stand out to me:

• Although more work, I prefer 28 degrees and a few inches of sparkling snow to 34 degrees and a dark, rainy day.
• Sometimes the routines of life can teach us much about faithfulness if we pay attention to the results of doing what needs done day after day.
• Who we say we are and who we actually are ought to be the same thing — that’s integrity.
• Wearing a name that doesn’t reflect who we are is deceitful and often hypocritical.
• Hypocrisy is not the unforgivable sin.  If it were, we would all be permanently lost — there is none that do right all the time, no not one.
• Integrity and maturity are traits that we continually grow into as we deal appropriately with the times when we don’t “practice what we preach” or preach what we ought.
• Humility is a necessary ingredient in owning our hypocrisy in a way that leads us to repentance that will lead us to integrity.