Change of Plans

My mind feels quite swirled,
almost inside out.
And settled within it
is a pile of doubt.
Did I hear unclearly?
Did I chase my pride?
What forms the confusion
that has settled inside?

Some time ago,
I was given advice.
When you’re sure in the daylight,
when it’s dark, don’t think twice.
It is so very easy,
when my plans fall apart.
To question my listening
and how they did start.

Did I talk myself into
what should not have been done?
Or am I learning a lesson
that isn’t much fun?
Do I have to see clearly
why things are this way?
When I go back to God
to hear what He will say.

I know God works all things
together for good.
For those He has called,
with Him they have stood.
So, as I regather
the thoughts in my mind.
I search more intently
so His thoughts I find.

Then I cast on Him
the cares of this day.
And trust He’ll provide
all that I have to pay.
But more so than money,
I hope I will see.
this failure won’t change,
His great love for me!

© 2017 by Tom Lemler

Sometimes I have poems show up in my mind that I am eager to share with others — this is not one of them.  But as I finish out a weekend that didn’t go as planned, this poem took up residence in my mind and it doesn’t seem like a good idea to keep it trapped inside.  I know I have people who follow my blog and social media postings who want everything to be positive and uplifting all the time, but even in Christ that isn’t how life is — at least not for me nor for the majority of people I know.  Life is full of failed plans, broken promises, unmet expectations, and even concern for what others will think.  I know I can’t control how others respond to God’s promptings and leading in their lives, and I’m not even the one who says what those are for them, but sometimes it is difficult to move forward in what feels like confident obedience only to have the work seem to be a total failure.  As I’m sitting in a costly cabin, not only did my primary plan become a complete flop, but my secondary plan hasn’t yielded the resulting work I had hoped.  Even in this, I am confident that God was not caught off guard by any of what has or hasn’t happened so I wait as patiently as possible for the if and when there are lessons from this weekend that He will reveal.  I do pray that my posting such a transparent look into my mind is a help and encouragement to others whose plans don’t always turn out as expected or hoped for.

In prayer,
Tom

 

2 thoughts on “Change of Plans

  1. Disappointment aside, all that happens comes about for a reason. It boils down to trust since we don’t know the mind of God. Don’t be disheartened. Perhaps this is your lesson in perseverance or tenacity? Hope the lessons will be revealed and growth realized that will dissipate any self-doubt and disappointment!

    • Absolutely! I don’t expect to understand the why of everything that doesn’t turn out like I want, but it sure is fun to get a glimpse of the why every once in a while. 🙂

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