After a late night, I was able to sleep in for a while until page 259 began with the sounds of Susan in a seizure again. There’s not much that can be done other than protecting her as much as possible while waiting it out, then providing comfort and assurance as the seizure loosens its grip and she becomes aware of her need for help. As difficult as it is for me to watch her go through these, I know it has to be even harder on her. Yet love keeps us going and we endure whatever we have to endure in order to overcome the things which seem impossible. I know this struggle isn’t mine alone. There are others with loved ones who experience seizures and still more who have loved ones who have been seized by an addiction to drugs, money, sex, power, control, alcohol, and a variety of other things which can take over a person’s entire mind and control all of their actions. So, we protect from physical harm as much as possible and look for any signs of a loosening grip so that we can provide comfort and reassurance that there is a better life waiting outside of the grip of whatever has seized them.
After she was out of the seizure and comfortably resting, I checked on the pork I had put on the pellet grill last night then I got my morning coffee and spent some quiet time with God getting myself resettled. The rest of the morning was spent in quietness as I kept an eye on the pork that was cooking and eventually went out to see if I could find anything to photograph around the front yard. Sure enough, a fresh batch of buds were out on many of the rose bushes so I spent some time photographing them in the morning light. Today’s photo is one of my favorites from the morning as I looked at this rose bud with all of its potential. Yes, it has great beauty now, but as it continues to open and mature, it’s beauty will continue to increase. I think we should be a lot like that. Each of us have great beauty in the potential God created us with. His desire is that we would grow and mature in a way that the beauty increases rather than decreases.
After fourteen hours slow-cooking on the pellet grill, the pork was finally done and it was well worth the wait. I’ve learned the hard way as there have been times in the past when I’ve become impatient and pulled it off the grill too soon. There is a point in the cooking process when the meat is technically done and safe to eat, but beyond that point is the one when it is fall-off-the-bone, melt-in-your-mouth done — that is what I want and is what was achieved today. After relaxing for a while in the afternoon, we headed to Lake Michigan to shoot some sunset photos. By the time we got to the lake, most of the scattered clouds that we were hoping would add texture to the photos were gone but it was still a beautiful evening along the waterfront as we watched the sun set for the day.
As I reflect on the day, here are some thoughts/lessons that stand out to me:
- Not every day is going to start the way you want it to. Often you just have to make the best of what you have.
- It is difficult to watch someone you love experience a seizure, whether it is a neurological seizure or a seizure of the mind by something, but that shouldn’t diminish your love for them.
- There is a time in a seizure when all you can do is provide safe “walls” so the person seizing doesn’t injure themselves.
- Most seizures eventually have a crack, or opening, in them that allows you to provide comfort and reassurance — pay attention so you don’t miss that opening.
- God has created great beauty in us and an even greater beauty in our potential.
- Our growing and maturing ought to increase our beauty, not take away from it.
- God often wants us to “be still and wait on the Lord”, but far too often we miss the best by settling for “done enough”.
- Photography helps me to capture glimpses of the incredible creativity of God so that I can not only share them with others, but be reminded of it each time I view His work displayed in a photograph.