Page 274 has been a dark and dreary day and it has been a battle to keep my mind from mirroring the conditions outside.  As I’ve worked throughout the day, various bits of poems have tried to show up in my mind but most of them have been as dark as the cloudy night sky so I keep pushing them out and replace them with worship songs and scripture.  One of the opening lines that keeps recurring — so maybe it will be used for real some day — is: “Most of these poems reveal what’s inside.  The dark hidden thoughts that I’d like to hide.”  On good days, the poems are a window into my soul and I suppose that may just be true on my bad days as well.

The day began early as I was up and at work by 6 AM, cleaning and prepping the building for the day.  And here I am at 8 PM still at work, writing today’s page before taking the floor scrubber for its laps around the hallways.  Once the morning cleaning was done, I took care of a few minor maintenance needs and then spent much of the day continuing work on the sermon for Sunday.  As with most days, there was the occasional interruption to take care of building related things, but overall it was a fairly quiet day.  I’m working on the first message in a series of stand-alone sermons based around the topic of “Living As the Lord’s Servant”.  I began work on this character study series almost a year ago but haven’t had anywhere to share it so the work kind of stalled out.  Since they do stand alone, I’ll work on them as needed for the Sunday’s I preach at the North Wayne Mennonite Church in Dowagiac, Michigan.  This first one will look at some lessons we can learn from Abraham about living as the Lord’s servant.

By mid-afternoon, I took a short lunch break then it was time to start the Friday evening cleaning to get the building ready for Sunday.  It feels like I’m getting back into the school year routine and the work flow seems to be a bit smoother as each week passes.  Sometimes we think of routines and habits as bad so we do what we can to keep from developing any.  In and of themselves, routines and habits are neutral — they can be good or bad depending on what they are.  That is an important lesson that I try to convey when I teach about prayer.  Developing habits and routines of prayer can be good if we use them to connect to God in deeper and greater ways.  Sometimes it is the habits and routines that keep us going to God in prayer even when we don’t feel like it but know we need to.  Most of us need to build a pattern of prayer in our life so it is simply a natural part of what we do in all circumstances.  If we face a situation where prayer feels awkward, it is probably a time when it is most needed but least likely to take  place.  

As I sat down to write today’s page and enjoy a quick “dinner” of Famous Amos cookies and Dr Pepper, I went through the photos from yesterday’s trip to the lake so I could choose one for this page.  The photo I chose is of the beachfront at Holland State Park looking across the channel from the lighthouse.  Even in the midst of all the clouds and dreariness of the day, beauty could be found.  Behind the clouds, and occasionally peeking through as a reminder, the sun still shone in all its brilliance.  It serves as a reminder for me that even in the midst of the dreary times I experience within my spirit, the Son still shines in all His glory and His Spirit still lives within me to encourage, comfort, and strengthen me in my weakness.

I pray that you and I would never forget God’s presence is with us through the power of His Son and the indwelling of His Spirit.  I pray that we would understand our role as a servant of the Lord and live accordingly.  I pray that we would build good habits and routines that draw us closer to God.  I pray that we would continually grow in our practice of praying without ceasing.  I pray that God’s light would always shine upon us and through us.

I’m tired.  While part of it is a physical tiredness as page 272 has been a 15+ hour workday, there is also an equal element of mental tiredness from seeing people continue to do the same things year after year, expecting different results while rejecting common sense advise.  As I watch that happen around me, I wonder if it’s possible for God to ever be “mentally tired” as He watches us do the same things year after year, expecting different results while avoiding the common sense instruction of His Word.  God says that if we humble ourselves and seek His face and turn from our wicked ways, He will heal our land.  But we say, “What wicked ways are you talking about?”.  We define wickedness to be the things others do rather than use the definitions God has in His Word.  We hold on to our arrogance, pride, greed, envy, hatred, anger, selfishness and so many other things because surely those can’t be what He’s talking about when He calls people to turn from their wicked ways.  We call out to God and we point fingers — if only “those people” would turn from their wickedness, God would heal our land.  If “they” would repent and do things God’s way, the hardships we face would be gone.  It’s always easier, but never effective, to assume the change God is calling for is something someone else has to do.

Anyhow, I guess that’s a free paragraph in today’s page. 🙂  The day began with the cleaning, building prep, and taking out trash that needs to take place each morning.  This morning also had a “fun” element as I had to replace a hallway light bulb.  As I carried the old bulb through the dark auditorium, I came upon the doorway sooner than expected and was startled by the loud POP! of the fluorescent tube as it exploded all over me.  After brushing myself off and getting all the glass cleaned up from the area, I spent a good part of the morning finishing the initial proofreading of my latest book and then making the corrections in the manuscript file.  When that was finished, I spent time going through the lesson material for the Wednesday night class I teach.  The class is for first, second, and third graders and I am trying to teach a general overview of the Bible at a level they can understand and grow from.  By mid-afternoon I took a lunch break and then worked on both the lesson for the evening and a sermon for this weekend.  While working on those studies, a fox went trotting by my office window.  He was too quick for me to get any of my cameras out, so by the time I had a camera ready I looked down the back field to see if any of the deer were out.  Sure enough, there were a couple deer at the far end of the field and as I watched them, my fox came trotting out of the woods at the edge of the field.  He was moving quickly toward the area the deer were in and as I hurried outside with my camera, I caught one photo of him as he prepared to head into the woods where the deer had just gone.  As he disappeared, I returned to my studies up until time to teach.  When the class time was over, I spent the next few hours doing tomorrow morning’s cleaning tonight.

I don’t know how likely it is that this fox would actually be able to chase down one of the deer, but watching it stalk them reminded me of the scripture that describes satan as prowling about as a hungry lion.  I would imagine that if I was in an area likely to have a hungry lion prowling around, I would make every effort to use whatever was at my disposal to become aware of the lion’s presence and to protect myself.  God has let us know that if we are in the world, we are in an area where satan is likely to be prowling and seeking to devour someone.  Since I know that, how much effort do I put into not only being aware of his presence but in constantly protecting myself with the full armor of God?  Do I pray in the Spirit at all times, or are there times when I feel safe on my own and let my guard down?  God’s desire is that I would avoid the schemes and traps of the enemy so that I’m not devoured.

I pray that you and I would live in a way that does not weary God by our lack of listening.  I pray that we would apply God’s Word to ourselves first when it comes to humbling ourselves, seeking His face, and turning from our wicked ways.  I pray that we would allow God to define wickedness and accept His demand that we turn away from it.  I pray that we would be aware of the enemy’s desire to destroy us.  I pray that we would live with the protection provided by the armor of God.  I pray that we would not fall prey to the schemes of the evil one.

Page 270 was a somewhat usual start to the work week other than I woke up at 5 AM and decided I could get a little more sleep then didn’t wake back up until 6:30, missing the scheduled pest control service.  Fortunately, David was at the building and was able to let the service tech in to do his work before I got there.  As one who has never been a “morning person”, it is a sad day when arriving to work by 7 AM is starting the day late.  I started the workday cleaning bathrooms, taking out trash, and sweeping floors before settling in for my Monday morning writing routine.  As I spent time with God, first on this week’s prayer focus of perfection and then considering a topic for next week, the idea of endurance seemed to settle into my spirit.  When it comes to living with endurance, we have no greater example than Jesus.  The opposition faced by Jesus pursued Him all the way to the cross yet He endured even that, knowing that a greater joy was before Him.  Jesus knew that through faithful obedience and patient endurance, He would again be seated at the right hand of the Father.  It is when our faith wavers that endurance becomes especially difficult because we lose sight of the eternal reward that awaits us.  The writer of Hebrews tells us that we are able to run the race set before us with endurance when we keep out eyes fixed on Jesus.

By late morning, the prayer guide was written and I turned my attention to writing the monthly Impact Prayer Ministry newsletter.  The newsletter writing is always a joy because it gives me reason to intentionally look  back at what God has been doing and look ahead to where He is leading.  Once the newsletter was written and sent out, I finished the formatting and layout of what looks to be my next completed book.  The working title for this book has been “Devotions For Those Who Serve”, but in my initial proof copies I changed that to the subtitle with the title “Active Worship”.  Before the day was finished, I had changed the title a second time.  When I first began writing, I had laid out a series of four titles that I believed God was giving me to write.  Two of those four, “Seeking God” and “Knowing God” are poetical devotionals I have written.  The third, “Pursuing God”, is a collection of fifty-two weekly prayer guides.  The fourth title, which I had not yet used, is “Serving God”.  While I had initially thought that title would be a book based on a sermon series I have preached through the book of Acts, this current book of thirteen weeks of daily devotions focused on serving seems like the perfect fit for the title and to complement the series I had called “The God Series”.  So, at least at the moment, this next book will be titled, “Serving God: Devotions For Those Who Serve”.

After settling on the title and printing out a proof copy of the book so I can proofread it before final publishing, I headed out for a mid-afternoon lunch.  After lunch, I picked up some needed supplies for work and then called it a day and headed home.  Today’s photo was taken during an evening walk with my family along the St Joseph River in Mishawaka.  As the sun began to drop toward the western horizon, the shadows began to lengthen.  As I gazed at this scene, and then the photo, I thought about the importance of keeping the Son at the center of my life, rather than somewhere along the horizon, in order to keep the shadows of doubt from lengthening and taking over.  The further the Son drops from the center, the closer to darkness we become.  While the shadows from the trees make for an interesting and beautiful photo, allowing the shadows of doubt to fill our lives makes for a tragic and ugly ending to a life God wants to fill with His light.

I pray that you and I would run the race set before us with endurance.  I pray that we would keep our eyes fixed on Jesus as we seek to understand how to have the endurance we need.  I pray that we would be aware of the continual presence of opposition and choose to remain steadfast in our pursuit of God.  I pray that we would set aside time on a regular basis to consider how God has been working in our life and where He is leading us.  I pray that we would see all of the shadows of doubt dissolved by keeping the Son at the center of our life.

Page 269 was a Sunday with Bible study and worship at Deer Run.  Our Bible study class was in the fifth chapter of Esther today as we continue our way through that story.  When Esther first goes to the king and he invites her in as he is pleased with her, he offers to give her whatever she asks for, up to half the kingdom.  While it may have been tempting to take the king up on his offer right then and there, she and all the Jewish people had been fasting for three days as they sought God’s solution to the edict that would wipe them from the face of the earth if carried out.  Half the kingdom may have seemed like a workable solution to have the resources necessary to survive — but it would have been a shortcut to what God was going to do.  I’m afraid that far too often we are willing to take the shortcuts offered by satan rather than live with an integrity that stays committed to God’s plan no matter what.  Much of the time we willingly take the shortcut because we know it is our own plan we are pursuing and satan’s shortcuts are enticing because somewhere within us we know that our plan isn’t God’s plan and there is not way it will happen on our own.  We plan and then we pray as a polite thing to do in asking God to bless our plans.  What we ought to be doing is praying, and calling others to pray with us, so that we know we are pursuing God’s plan in all things before we take any action.

Following the Bible study class, our morning worship gathering included another sermon from Nehemiah as David continues his series out of that book.  Today’s message found Nehemiah arriving in Jerusalem to a scene that had to be at least a little disheartening.  We’ve all been there, right?  We may have even been warned, Nehemiah was, but we walk into a situation that simply takes our breath away — and not in a good way.  What we do next will often determine if the situation gets the best of us or if God gets the best of us.  One of the things we learn from Nehemiah is not only the importance of getting on God’s page to begin with, but the critical nature of staying on God’s page through everything.  From the moment Nehemiah heard reports that Jerusalem was in distress, he earnestly sought God in prayer and continued to do so throughout every step of obedience to God’s plan.  Even as he evaluated in person the problems that existed in Jerusalem, he did so not to determine if the work could be done, but to determine the scope of the work God had already called him to.  His commitment to hearing and doing God’s plan led the way through all of survey work he did in evaluating the actual condition of the city and its walls.  When it came time to recruit workers who would help with the rebuilding, he spoke with integrity — both about the amount of work that needed done and the hand of God that had been with him through every step of the journey to this point.  He didn’t soft sell the project or sugar coat it with empty promises and commitments he had no intention of keeping.  His integrity made it clear that this was God’s project and he was simply the on-site manager.  It was a big project, but one that God could handle.  It was through his integrity in keeping with God’s plan and explaining it as such to the people, that he was able to address fully the opposition that arose.  Without integrity in all aspects of his seeking God, of his careful evaluation of the walls, and of his explanation to the people, there would have been multiple footholds for the opposition to gain leverage and have some measure of success against the plan.  Through integrity in all phases, the opposition was silenced (at least for the time being) and the work would soon begin.

After the worship gathering at church, we had lunch and rested a short time before heading down to Potato Creek for a family walk.  We manged to walk, feed the mosquitoes, cross paths with some friends from church, and even shoot a few photos before the day was done.  The photo on today’s page is one of those from the afternoon.  As I saw it through the lens of my camera, it made me think of Nehemiah and how sometimes we just have to wade into the mess as we listen to God’s instructions on how to clean it up.

I pray that you and I would hold fast to God and His will even as the enemy works to convince us that his shortcuts are a better plan.  I pray that we would be in constant pursuit of God as we seek to live His plans and not our own.  I pray that we would reject any notion to use prayer as a means of pronouncing God’s blessing on anything that is not of Him.  I pray that we would learn, and put into practice, the lessons from Nehemiah in everything that God calls us to do.

Page 268 has been a decent start to the weekend, all things considered.  With the official arrival of Fall this week, the roller-coaster of temperature and various weather fronts has had Susan on her own roller-coaster of sorts.  Between seizures, a panda obsession, and nighttime fear, she ended up sleeping on a mattress on the floor beside our bed last night. It is always a little uncertain what the morning will be like after this type of night, but she woke up at 8 this morning ready to get the day started.  While she had breakfast, I gave myself a much needed haircut.  We then spent some time together looking at pictures from this past week before heading to WalMart to get some photos printed for my dad and his brothers.  Once they were finished, we stopped by my office to pick up a copy of one of my books I didn’t have at home and then headed to the zoo.  This was the first Saturday in a very long time that Susan was awake before noon and wanted to go visit her zoo friends.  She saw the animals she wanted to visit, then we stopped by the market to drop off the book and photos I had picked up earlier.  One of my uncles had asked for a couple of my books to put in their church library and since I wasn’t sure which ones he was actually wanting, I sent along the entire set of seven books.  🙂

After the trip to market it was time to head home and get the pellet grill going for our Saturday bacon cheeseburgers — no mushrooms in the house today. 😦  The afternoon has been spent relaxing, playing computer games and some Wii games, and taking a nap.  I have been using photos I have taken to make promo pieces for my latest book and today I pulled up an old photo I took 10+ years ago of the sun setting over my parents’ farm to highlight the “Heaven is a Home with Family” devotional page.  I suppose that statement means different things to different people, and to some it probably needs to be clarified that heaven is a home with a loving family.  It is a loving family because God is love and He is the head of this family.  As Christians, I believe God desires for our families on earth to better reflect His family of love than what they often do.  And sometimes our families are filled with a love we don’t know exists until we are put to the test.  As I think about this particular devotional topic from my book, I can look back over this past summer and realize that the family I am a part of is filled with more love than we had probably ever noticed before.  It has been in the hardest of times and in the best of times that the family has come together.  When my brother’s daughter died in a car accident, we mourned together and the community mourned with us.  When we gathered to remember my dad’s 80th birthday and the life of my niece, we celebrated together and the community celebrated with us.  When another niece was married, we rejoiced together and the community rejoiced with us.  Through all of these events, and so much more, it is easy to see the love of God reflected in our family, through our family, and to our family.  While we’re not perfect, we do get to see a glimpse of the family that God has called us to in His heavenly home.

As I wind down the day and write today’s page, Susan is having more seizures so I’ll finish the writing and see what the night will bring us.  I pray that you and I would hold fast to God at all times, especially when it feels like things are going out of control.  I pray that we would look to God for the wisdom and courage to allow Him to transform our families to be more like His family.  I pray that we would value the family God has given us and that we would be the family to those who feel they have no one.

Page 267 began early as I headed into work to get the cleaning and building prep done so I could begin mowing around the building before school began for the day.  I do my best to not be a distraction to the students who are in the building as I remember a long time ago watching the maintenance staff mow lawns as I sat in an early elementary classroom.  I suppose the teacher had other things she expected me to be doing, but none of it was as fascinating as watching the tractor pulling a multi-gang reel mower across the lawn.  So I start mowing before the sun is up, and in doing so I deprive these young students from watching the grass clippings fly as I go by their classroom window. 🙂  When I think about how easy it can be to distract young students, my mind took me to the warning of Jesus that we should not cause one of these “little ones” to stumble.

Once the school day began I headed away from the building and finished the mowing for the week.  As I mowed, my mind reflected on the allegiance I have to Christ.  It seems like every time I look through my social media sites, I can’t avoid new commentary about sports figures who choose not to stand for the national anthem at the beginning of their sporting event.  While I believe that we ought to show respect for what the anthem represents within our nation and that we ought to honor those who defend, and have defended with their lives, the way of life we enjoy as Americans, I become appalled at the tone of the verbal attacks against individuals by those claiming to be Christian.  So I began to wonder as I mowed, “What if every Christian had a greater passion for pledging, and living, an allegiance to God than they do for anything else?”.  If my true allegiance is to God, it will show in the way I respond to things I agree with and things I disagree with.  The respect I have for God ought to be visible in the respect I show to others.  If Christians cannot be respectful in our conversations with people and about people, how can we expect any level of respect to be present in our society?  We have become such an angry society and while we express it in different ways, our anger often keeps us from even attempting to understand the anger of others.  “They” do something we find disrespectful and somehow we believe that gives us permission to have no respect for them.  Our lack of respect makes them even more disrespectful and on and on the cycle goes — at least until the faithful people of God stand up and say with their actions that their respect for God will compel them to have respect for others.

After finishing the mowing, I headed inside and took a first look at the lesson material for next week’s 1st through 3rd grade class I teach.  I always like to go through the material early enough to let the lesson theme and scripture soak into my mind so God can bring out what He wants shared.  By mid-afternoon it was time for a late lunch so I stopped by KFC and then took a quick walk along the river in Mishawaka.  It wouldn’t be much of a productive walk without taking my camera and as I did so today I got a few shots I liked.  One of those photos was of a leaf floating down the river.  If I were to title the picture which made today’s page, I would call it “The Heart of Fall”.  After my walk, I headed back to work and began the Friday evening cleaning to get the building ready for Sunday.  When I collected trash from throughout the building and took it out, there were deer playing on the back lawn.  I enjoy seeing them out and for the most part, they seem to be somewhat used to seeing me.  

I pray that you and I would seek to live life in a way that isn’t a distraction to others as they pursue God.  I pray that we would guard our mouth and our keyboard when others don’t act in the way we think they ought to.  I pray that we would live in a way that gives respect and honor to God.  I pray that our respect of God would be seen in the way we treat others with respect.  I pray that we would learn to listen with understanding  when we, and the people around us, are filled with anger.  I pray that our allegiance to God would be seen in the way we deal with anger — both ours and that of others.