After a late night, I was able to sleep in for a while until page 259 began with the sounds of Susan in a seizure again.  There’s not much that can be done other than protecting her as much as possible while waiting it out, then providing comfort and assurance as the seizure loosens its grip and she becomes aware of her need for help.  As difficult as it is for me to watch her go through these, I know it has to be even harder on her.  Yet love keeps us going and we endure whatever we have to endure in order to overcome the things which seem impossible.  I know this struggle isn’t mine alone.  There are others with loved ones who experience seizures and still more who have loved ones who have been seized by an addiction to drugs, money, sex, power, control, alcohol, and a variety of other things which can take over a person’s entire mind and control all of their actions.  So, we protect from physical harm as much as possible and look for any signs of a loosening grip so that we can provide comfort and reassurance that there is a better life waiting outside of the grip of whatever has seized them.

After she was out of the seizure and comfortably resting,  I checked on the pork I had put on the pellet grill last night then I got my morning coffee and spent some quiet time with God getting myself resettled.  The rest of the morning was spent in quietness as I kept an eye on the pork that was cooking and eventually went out to see if I could find anything to photograph around the front yard.  Sure enough, a fresh batch of buds were out on many of the rose bushes so I spent some time photographing them in the morning light.  Today’s photo is one of my favorites from the morning as I looked at this rose bud with all of its potential.  Yes, it has great beauty now, but as it continues to open and mature, it’s beauty will continue to increase.  I think we should be a lot like that.  Each of us have great beauty in the potential God created us with.  His desire is that we would grow and mature in a way that the beauty increases rather than decreases.

After fourteen hours slow-cooking on the pellet grill, the pork was finally done and it was well worth the wait.  I’ve learned the hard way as there have been times in the past when I’ve become impatient and pulled it off the grill too soon.  There is a point in the cooking process when the meat is technically done and safe to eat, but beyond that point is the one when it is fall-off-the-bone, melt-in-your-mouth done — that is what I want and is what was achieved today.  After relaxing for a while in the afternoon, we headed to Lake Michigan to shoot some sunset photos.  By the time we got to the lake, most of the scattered clouds that we were hoping would add texture to the photos were gone but it was still a beautiful evening along the waterfront as we watched the sun set for the day.

As I reflect on the day, here are some thoughts/lessons that stand out to me:

• Not every day is going to start the way you want it to.  Often you just have to make the best of what you have.
• It is difficult to watch someone you love experience a seizure, whether it is a neurological seizure or a seizure of the mind by something, but that shouldn’t diminish your love for them.
• There is a time in a seizure when all you can do is provide safe “walls” so the person seizing doesn’t injure themselves.
• Most seizures eventually have a crack, or opening, in them that allows you to provide comfort and reassurance — pay attention so you don’t miss that opening.
• God has created great beauty in us and an even greater beauty in our potential.
• Our growing and maturing ought to increase our beauty, not take away from it.
• God often wants us to “be still and wait on the Lord”, but far too often we miss the best by settling for “done enough”.
• Photography helps me to capture glimpses of the incredible creativity of God so that I can not only share them with others, but be reminded of it each time I view His work displayed in a photograph.

Page 258 has been a long day, so long that I’m actually starting to write this page just after midnight so technically the day is over. 🙂  It is a Friday and I knew I would have evening work to do so I set the alarm even earlier than usual so I would have the building ready before sunrise.  After my morning prayer, cleaning, and building prep routine I headed down to Potato Creek with my kayak to see what the sunrise would look like over the water.  I had just put my kayak in the water during the twilight before the sunrise and I sensed, more than noticed, movement overhead.  I did not even have my camera out and ready yet, so today’s photo is the result of grabbing a camera out of the bag, turning it on, and shooting at whatever setting it happened to be on.  This is a photo that I cropped after the fact because what you see is the top third of the photo that was taken.  The bottom two thirds was just empty sky.  In the rush to get a shot off, while staying in the kayak, my aim was just a bit off and I was willing to settle for whatever I could get.  Sometimes in life we notice an opportunity that entices us to take our chances and jump into it fully whether we are prepared or not.  We think if we don’t go for it now, we’ll never have another chance.  And yes, sometimes that is true and it takes great wisdom and faith to know a particular moment is the only one like it.  But more often, we do have time to “count the cost” and be prepared to not just take our chances at a suitable outcome, but to be prepared for a good and perfect outcome.  A little later, after I had made my cameras more accessible and had adjusted the settings to accommodate the conditions, I was able to take some great photos of the bald eagle.  Knowing what I needed to do and being prepared to do it, provided a much better outcome than the unprepared shot.

After spending some time on the lake photographing the sunrise, the bald eagle, and other wildlife that were out on the lake, I loaded up the kayak and headed back to work.  My first tasks were to catch up on email and messages, then do some follow-up with some of the retreat groundwork.  I also had a door in the building that needed worked on, so I set about trying to get it working again.  It was a pocket door that slides into a wall and my first thought was that it had come off its track.  As I got to looking, I discovered that wasn’t the case — instead, one of the hangers that suspend the door from the track had pulled out of the door.  It was going to be tricky but I kept at it and by early evening the door had been taken down, the hanger refastened to the door, and the door rehung in a functioning state.  

I still had the cleaning to do to get the building ready for Sunday, but I was tired.  So, I sat at my desk with a Dr Pepper for a while and went through some of the pictures I had taken in the morning.  I considered just going home and coming back early Sunday morning to do the cleaning, but eventually I had rested enough that I decided it would be easier to just get it done while I was there.  The cleaning went well but because of the late start, it had a late finish.  Earlier in the day I had stopped by the grocery store to get some fried chicken for dinner and had noticed they had pork butts on sale.  These are what I put on the pellet grill for some incredible pulled pork, so after the building was ready, I picked up some pork at the store and then fired up the pellet grill to begin the 12 hour slow-cook/smoke process.  It made for a late night but I know it will be worth it when my family sits down to enjoy the pork and when I don’t have to wake up extra early on Sunday.

As I reflect on the day, here are some thoughts/lessons that stand out to me:

• Some days you just know more will be required from you than on other days so the best thing you can do is to plan for how you can enjoy it.
• Sometimes we miss the “perfect opportunity” because we’re not ready.
• Sometimes we settle for what we get because it is easier than planning for something better.
• Sometimes what we get is just one step in the process of God preparing us for something better.
• When we count the costs of being a disciple of Jesus, we discover that our greatest effectiveness comes when we surrender fully to Him.
•  We don’t have to have all the answers before following a path that seems right, but we ought to at least make sure the one we’re following is trustworthy.
• Our greatest preparation for any great task of life is to align our self fully with God.
• Some things are difficult to do but they become impossible to do if we don’t keep at it.
• I really enjoy some good slow-cooked pork but like many of the lessons from today, that only happens by planning ahead and taking the time to do it right.

There was a light fog in the air as I headed out the door this morning to begin page 257.  The moon was passing into its crescent phase and was surrounded by an obvious haze as it appeared you could wring water out of the sky if you could just get a grip on it.  As I went about my morning prayer, cleaning, and building prep, the fog actually thickened.  By the time the sun should have risen, it was just a brighter version of fog with no apparent sunrise.  After a few hours, the sun was well up over the horizon and I could start to see it burning through the fog.  I took a break from the office to see if I could get some photos and everything outside was as drenched as if it had rained.  

The rest of the morning was spent putting together some brochures and material for the upcoming International Conference on Missions to promote the Growing Strong retreats.  In addition to the promotional material work, I also spent some time on some sermons I am working on for October.  By early afternoon it was so nice outside that I decided to do some of the mowing today before getting a late lunch.  An hour or two of mowing soon turned into four as I hated to waste the beautiful weather after the cool, rainy days we’ve had recently.  It ended up being a long workday, but that was by my choice so I don’t have to worry about what tomorrow’s weather is like.  Growing up on the farm, we called it “making hay while the sun shines.”  As the afternoon prepared to turn into evening, I put the mower away and finished up some office tasks before calling it a day.

At home I spent the early part of the evening relaxing and praying about the November retreat I have scheduled.  I’ve had a little bit of interest shown in it already, so it will be fun to see what God will do with it by the time it gets here.  The afternoon of mowing in the warm sun has turned my tiredness of the last few days into a sleepiness, so I’m writing today’s page early in the evening so I don’t let it keep me awake later than I need to be.  It was hard to decide on today’s photo for the page so I included both the morning haze and the blue sky of the afternoon.  As I finish up the writing, the sun is beginning to set beautifully among the scattered evening clouds.  When you live surrounded by trees, sunsets are difficult to photograph but I still try.

As I reflect on the day, here are some thoughts/lessons that stand out to me:

• Haze and fog aren’t just weather issues.  Sometimes they exist in our life as well.
• I’ve yet to see a fog that can outlast the sun.  I’ve seen some hang around for a good part of the day, but eventually the sun has burned its way through.
• Even though it may seem like it at times, the fog in our life cannot outlast the Son either.  (It is important to note that there can be medical issues that create fog in our life that need medical attention in addition to full exposure to the Son.)
• It is easy for me to talk about prayer and the work God has called me to with the prayer ministry but sometimes I worry about where the line is between promoting God’s work and self-promotion.  I suppose it would be a bigger problem if I didn’t worry about it.
• When the weather is favorable, it is a good idea to do the mowing and outdoor work that needs done.
• God’s desire is that we would pay attention to the atmosphere surrounding the lives of people so that we would make the most of every opportunity.
• There is weary and there is tired.  Tonight I am a good tired.

Page 256 continued the theme of the previous day as I was awakened at 3:30 AM by the sounds of Susan having a seizure.  After we sat up with her as she fought back from it, the adrenaline rush made it difficult to get back to sleep.  It seemed as if I had just fallen asleep again when the alarm went off and it was time to get up and head to work.  As is often the case after her seizures, Susan seemed to sleep soundly and was awake, happy, and full of smiles as I left for work.  As I went about the morning prayer, cleaning, and building prep routine, my mind was never far from my daughter and the resilience she continually shows.  

The remnants of hurricane Irma had arrived in the area and in addition to being a likely influence in the seizure activity, it also brought rain and cool temperatures with it.  After securing the location last night for the first Growing Strong retreat, today was spent putting together a variety of details to be able to promote it.  It is a little scary because I have no idea how God will use this facet of the prayer ministry and even less of an idea if anyone will sign up for and attend this first retreat.  I am convinced through my prayer and listening time that I needed to step out in faith and get it on the calendar, so I am also confident God will use this for His glory and for my good even if no one comes.  Even so, I continue to pray that He will draw the people to it that He knows will benefit and be encouraged by the time focused on growing strong.

As I worked, I would keep seeing hints of movement in the brush at the edge of the woods outside my office window.  Every once in a while I would see a bird come out for a berry or two and then dart right back into dense foliage for cover.  Eventually I saw a bird take cover in a spot where I had just a small opening where I could view, and photograph, it.  Between the haze from the rain and the darkness from the leaf cover, today’s photo makes me think of all that takes place behind the scenes.  While my photo expeditions have allowed me to catch some great wildlife shots, I am confident there are many more scenes that I never notice because they take place somewhere in the background.  Life is a lot like that.  For everyone and everything that gets noticed, there is much that takes place in the background that often goes unseen.  Every once in a while if we open our eyes and our heart, we can catch a glimpse of the unsung heroes of life.  When we do so, I believe the best way to honor their work is to imitate their service done in humility.

As I reflect on the day, here are some thoughts/lessons that stand out to me:

• I’m not sure I ever quit listening in my sleep.  Maybe that’s part of why I rarely feel rested.
• Adrenaline is quite the substance when you need it, but it is not so good after the need is gone.
• Living with a heart and mind that are innocent is a valuable commodity.
• Sometimes I wish I had an erase button for my mind . . . but I’m not sure I would know how to use it wisely.
• It is difficult for me to start something, even something I’m convinced God wants me to do, when I don’t know how it will turn out.
• It is hard to trust God for His results when I start with my own definition of success.
• Sometime our life takes us down paths that make us visible and sometimes God calls us into the background.  Both are important.
• The best way to honor those who serve quietly in the background is to imitate their humble service to others.

Page 254 was the start of another work week, but it was also the anniversary of the 9/11 terror attacks.  I find it sad that it takes disasters and tragedies to draw attention to the benefit and joy of working together.  It’s not that people don’t help each other in the day to day grind of regular life, but we don’t hear about it so we begin to think it doesn’t take place.  And yes, large scale disasters such as the recent hurricanes do tend to make people think about what is important and, at least temporarily, cause them to put differences aside to help people they might not be inclined to be involved with under different circumstances.  As I remember so many stories of strangers helping one another on 9/11 and see similar stories coming out of Texas, Louisiana, and Florida, I can’t help but wonder what would happen if people not only continued to help others without regard for any differences, but if news of that help would be shared on a regular basis.  If we were consistently hearing, and seeing examples, of the good being done by strangers for strangers, perhaps more people would be inclined to put differences aside and join in.

Anyhow, that was just some “for free” thoughts that were running through my head throughout the day as the nation’s responses to 9/11 and hurricanes Harvey and Irma intermingled in my head.  With those thoughts in my mind, I went about the usual morning prayer, cleaning and building prep to start my day.  Once the building was ready, I settled in for some time with God to put together the next prayer guide.  I considered several different topics today before finally settling on the subject of living with confidence.  The key to living with a healthy kind of confidence is found in relationship with God as we put our trust in Him.  The Bible warns that putting our confidence in our own wisdom, in our own strength, in our own resources, or in other people will eventually fail.  Putting our confidence in God, however, will result in a confidence that endures even through judgment.

The morning was gone by the time the prayer guide was written for next week, then I spent the early part of the afternoon formatting it and scheduling it to be published on my website and go out via email on Sunday.  By mid-afternoon I had accomplished my work for the day so I stopped by the house to put my kayak in the truck before getting a late lunch and heading down to Potato Creek to enjoy some time on the water.  It was beautiful on the lake even though the eagles seemed to be nowhere to be found.  I eventually decided to call it a day and as I came back to the boat ramp I had started from, one of the bald eagles was perched in the tree overlooking the area.  I managed to get some photos I liked of it and enjoyed watching it.  Another boat came in off the lake as I loaded my kayak into the truck,  and the eagle decided that was too much activity so he flew off.  Today’s photo is one I found quite fitting as the eagle appeared to be “standing tall” as a national symbol of freedom.  While I enjoy the freedoms that exist within the country I live in, they quickly pale in comparison to the great freedom I have in Christ.

As I reflect on the day, here are some thoughts/lessons that stand out to me:

• Time has a way of causing people to forget things they said they would never forget.
• Remembrances and memorials help us remember — that’s why throughout scripture we see God consistently giving instructions about remembering His work and memorials to help people do just that.
• What we consistently take into our mind is what we will eventually believe.
• Yes, bad happens but there is probably more good taking place around us than we usually realize.
• If we’re able to look beyond differences and help one another in times of crisis, we ought to be able to do so when times are good.
• If we put our confidence in anything other than God, we will eventually be disappointed.
• Confidence that is based on a trust in God and His work can carry us through anything.
• Freedom within a nation can be a precarious thing.  Freedom in Christ is the only way to really “stand tall”.

Page 253 was a mostly restful day and being a Sunday I was able to sleep in a little to start it.  Once I was awake for the day, I got ready and headed to church where our Sunday School class spent some time looking at the second chapter of Philippians before beginning to go through the thirteenth chapter of John.  Both chapters begin with the same theme — Jesus humbling Himself and becoming a servant to all.  He also makes it clear that His serving was done as an example for us so that we would know the importance of humbling ourselves and serving others.

After out Bible study, it was time for our worship gathering where David continued a series on what we believe as a church congregation.  Today’s topic was about stewardship — a topic that often makes many people uncomfortable.  We like to think that our stuff is, well, our stuff and we become uncomfortable when anyone suggests that God might have a thing or two to say about how we use the stuff that we think is ours.  So, what do we believe the Bible teaches about stewardship?  The following are the three main points that David covered this morning:

• We believe everything belongs to God.  One of the first lessons of stewardship is understanding the difference between an owner and a steward, or manager.  The Bible teaches that the earth and everything in it, as well as the world and all its people, belong to God.  When we think of our “stuff” as ours, we don’t have a problem with the idea that the owner should have the control and final say in how things are used — or if they’re used.  The problem often comes when God wants us to use “our stuff” in ways that we don’t want to.  Those are the times that put our belief in who really owns everything to the test.  As a steward, we are required to use what has been entrusted to us according to the wishes and best interest of the actual owner.  Part of the good news in that is that the owner, God, loves us so much that He wants us to use what belongs to Him in ways that benefit us and others — which brings us to the second point.
• We believe that what we’ve been given, we’ve been given to share.  The Bible has a lot to say about God’s desire that we would look out for one another and use the possessions that God has entrusted to us in ways that benefit more than just ourselves.  God calls us to follow the example of Jesus, even to the point of emptying ourselves, to be a benefit to those around us who have need.  It is when we recognize God’s ownership of our resources, we then have a greater understanding of His instruction to freely give just as we have freely received.  Jesus said that the one who had two cloaks should give one to the person who had none.  I should point out that this act isn’t any form of forced redistribution of wealth — the sharing that Jesus requires from us is all voluntary and done out of love for Him and love for others.
• We believe true stewardship is a stewardship of our entire life, not just about money.  While money is a big part of stewardship, it isn’t the only part.  In fact, if we focus on managing our heart and mind in a way that shows God’s ownership over us, the money part will be easy.  God has given each of us talents, gifts, and abilities that become easy to think of as ours.  Yet when we surrender our life to Jesus, we affirm the fact that everything about us belongs to Him.  Biblical stewardship is about using our entire life in a way that honors God so that we become a reflection of His light in a very dark world.  Nothing gets left out in real stewardship.  Our time, our money, our work, our recreational interests, our talents, our everything is recognized as not being ours at all, but His to be used as He desires.  It is through our time in prayer, God’s Word, and Christian community that we learn how God would have us use the things He has entrusted to us.

After church we headed to lunch before spending the afternoon and evening in a combination of following hurricane Irma news and napping.  I had thought a time or two about getting up to go out and see what I could photograph, but rest seemed more useful today.  With no new photos, today’s photo is from Friday afternoon as I found a hummingbird bypassing the feeder for the natural nectar from a zinnia blossom.  To me, there is something special about capturing in a more natural setting like this than at a feeder put up to attract them.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy their beauty and photographing them whenever I can, but this is still special to me.

Much of the day the thoughts of people in Florida, or those who have temporarily fled Florida, have been heavy on my heart and mind.  I continue to pray as the storm makes its way up the coast and as I pray I try to listen to how God would have me respond in addition to the praying.  

As I reflect on the day, here are some thoughts/lessons that stand out to me:

• Living like Jesus isn’t possible until we learn to serve like Jesus.
• Being uncomfortable with what is in God’s Word shouldn’t keep us from learning it, teaching it, or doing it.
• Once you settle the ownership issue, stewardship becomes a lot easier.
• Sharing done God’s way is always meant to benefit the body of Christ.
• God cares about what we do with money, but more importantly He cares about what we do with the life He’s given us — which includes money.
• Stewardship for the Christian should be as natural as a hummingbird drinking nectar from a flower.
• Prayer ought to express our heart to God, but it also ought to open our heart to understanding His heart for hurting people.

The first hour of page 252 was spent unwinding from day 251 before heading to bed at 1 AM.  Being a Saturday, I was able to sleep in and catch up on some rest before starting my day.  My first task once I was awake, was to write yesterday’s page.  A good part of it included some of the things I am praying in regard to hurricane Irma.  Once the page was written and published, I took those prayer points and compiled them into a prayer guide that I posted online and sent out to the Impact Prayer Ministry email list.

The rest of the morning was spent relaxing with some computer and Wii games before getting Susan up and then firing up the pellet grill to work on lunch.  As I let the grill heat up, I saw once of the hummingbirds at the feeder so I grabbed my camera and shot some photos around the front yard.  Today’s photo is one I took as a butterfly was working its way across the surface of a zinnia blossom.  I enjoyed watching it as it seemed to leave no pollen unturned in its quest.  After taking some late-morning photos, I finished up the bacon cheeseburgers so they were ready for lunch when Mary Jane got home.  After lunch I ended up taking a nap before doing some more research on a family fall break getaway.  

As evening came, I went outside to watch for the Air Force flyover for the football game in town and was able to get one photo of the planes as they went by.  Part of the evening relaxing was spent working on some photo and scheduling some social media posts before sitting down to write today’s page.  

As I reflect on the day, here are some thoughts/lessons that stand out to me:

• It’s difficult to really start one day until you finish the previous one.
• Flexible schedules keep long days from becoming too burdensome.
• Much of what God gives each of us is meant to be shared.
• Even when I find great value in what I do, it can be difficult to believe it has value to others — but it won’t have any value to them if I don’t share it.
• Living with open eyes helps me to see things that I can’t seem to help but photograph.
• How often do I leave no stone unturned in my quest to know God?
• There is an incredible amount of wonder and beauty to be seen in this country — more than I’ll probably ever get to, but that doesn’t stop me from seeing what I can.
• There is great value in finding ways to have restful days from time to time.