When life seems all wrong
     and nothing’s the same.
Most of the time
     we want someone to blame.
We look all around
     for who it could be.
I guess it is you
     ‘cause it sure isn’t me.
Yet when we step back
     and see that isn’t true.
We look up above
     and say, “God, I blame you.”

I have seen this happen,
     it might have been me.
It’s not that unusual,
     I think you’ll agree.
When we’re in the midst
     of what we don’t understand.
It’s hard to imagine
     that it all turns out grand.
One of the problems
     when we start to blame God.
We step away from
     His comforting rod.

If you are wondering
     from where did this come.
It happened this morning
     before the rising sun.
It was a big seizure,
     this I do know.
The pain and the anger
     needed somewhere to go.
The mind was not thinking
     as it normally would.
So it lashed out in anger
     at everyone that it could.

There wasn’t just anger,
     there was also remorse.
Back and forth it would go,
     driven along by some force.
For seizures do seize,
     that’s what they do best.
They take full control
     and then no one gets rest.
While it is not pretty
     to watch and endure.
Living like this
     is much harder, I’m sure.

Then there comes a moment
     when the mind starts to click.
“I really do need help
     for I am so sick.”
And it didn’t matter
     whether angry or sad.
Our love was still given
     because we’re mom and dad.
We do what we can do
     and pray for the best.
And know there’s a day
     that we all will find rest.

In case you are wondering,
     about all of this.
I pray that you’re listening
     and the point you don’t miss.
We all have our moments
     when we’re out of control.
We really need someone
     who can help make us whole.
That will come and just hold us,
     and quietly say.
“My child I am with you,
     with you I will stay.”
©

As I was praying for Susan this morning following a major early morning seizure, this poem showed up in my mind so I collected it to share. Many times, I think that Susan’s seizures gives me an insight into God’s immense love and compassion for me, and for you, when we are seized by the control of selfishness, desire, substances, sin, and the evil one. We often lash out at God and even in the midst of our lashing out, He is trying to draw us near to comfort and protect us. I pray that this poem helps you in your pursuit of God and in your letting God make you whole when something that is not of Him has seized your life.

In prayer,
Tom