I’m guessing that I’m not the only one who has ever said something that didn’t sound right the moment it left our lips.  Perhaps on its way out of our mouth, we realized we had reached the point of no return and there was no stopping these words that would soon burst into the air.  Maybe its a second later, as our words float through the air and land in our ears, we can’t believe what we’re hearing.  Or another moment passes and we see the looks of disbelief and shock on the faces of those around us as our words register in their mind.  We want to ignore the statement — going on as if nothing had been said.  We want to brush our words aside and hope no one heard or remembers.  We want to explain what we really meant.  We wonder to our self, and even verbally question, “Did I say that out loud?”

I get the sense that David has one of those moments in Psalm 139.  It is a wonderful Psalm.  A well-known Psalm — at least the first 18 verses and the last 2 verses.  In the first two-thirds of the chapter, David writes of an All-Knowing God that has created him and has known his entire life before a day of it came to be.  He acknowledges that there is no where that he could go to hide from God — God will know where David is.  He even writes about God knowing the words he will speak before they are even on his tongue.  God knows intimately every detail of David’s life and he marvels in his writing of such an incredible God.

And then comes verses 19 – 22:

“If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
   Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
 They speak of you with evil intent;
   your adversaries misuse your name.
 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
   and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
 I have nothing but hatred for them;
   I count them my enemies.”

Whoa!  Did he say that out loud?  How do you go from, “How precious to me are your thoughts, God!  How vast is the sum of them!” to “If only you, God, would . . . “?  As David unloads his heart before God regarding the wicked and those who live against God, I think the words coming out of his mouth slowly began to register in his mind.  Perhaps that question crossed his mind, “Did I say that out loud?”  In light of what he had just expressed in the previous 18 verses about God’s knowledge of everything, even before it came into being, did it matter if it was said out loud? 

The reason that I think David wondered about his words, is his request in the final two verses of Psalm 139.  I get the image in my mind of David saying, “That didn’t sound right, but I know what I meant.”  And then it hits him — God also knows what he meant.  David had just declared so beautifully God’s complete knowledge of all things.  Now was the time to seek input from this All-Knowing God.  God could see through all of the personal feelings — the hurts, the fears, the worries, the pride, the selfishness, the sin in his life — and know exactly the intent of his words.  And so we have those wonderful verses in Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” 

I’ve been there, haven’t you?  I say or do something that could be taken wrong.  I know, or at least am fairly confident, that I had good and honorable intentions but it doesn’t come across that way.  It’s the, “Wow, did I say that out loud?”  “You know that is not what I really meant.”  And so I come to God as David did.  Search me, God.  You do know me even better than I know myself.  Look within and examine my very motive for that thought and statement.  Show me if it is indeed pure, or if it comes from worry, fear, selfishness, or pride.  Open me before you and show me anything that you find offensive.  Help me to get rid of whatever it may be.  Lead me.  Lead me not just in some general direction we’ll call life, but lead me in the way everlasting.  Both in the way that leads to everlasting life and also lead me in the way forever and always.  Keep me in the way and guard my heart, mind, and will; that I would not stray. 

May you and I recognize an All-Knowing God who sees everything about us.  When we speak and act out of the passion of our heart, may we turn to God to purify and reveal to us the basis for those words and actions.  May our passion for God be the source of what we think and for what we say out loud.