Have you ever been in a “really good” fight and forgotten what it was you were fighting about?

I remember when my mom would ask my brothers and I that really hard question, “What are you fighting about?”  By the time she had interrupted our “activity”, many times we would just look at her and honestly respond, “I don’t know.”  You do know that it is not just a kid problem, right?  Adults argue and fight with one another — sometimes for days, months, and even years.  The disagreement turns into a feud and people no longer talk to one another.  They go out of their way to avoid contact unless they are planning a way “to get back at them”.  Yet when asked why they are fighting, many of the participants in these ongoing “personal wars” respond in similar fashion, “I don’t know” or ” I don’t remember”. 

I have an idea — well it is not really my idea, but it is an idea.  James writes, “What causes fights and quarrels among you?  Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?  You desire but do not have, so you kill.  You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.  You do not have because you do not ask God.  When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”  (James 4:1-3) 

We have our “discussions” with people and are “at war” with them because we want something and they are not willing to give it.  Sometimes we want an actual physical object or item.  More often, we simply want our way.  When we don’t “get”, we insist.  When we still don’t “get”, we get mad and begin the plotting and scheming that is the start of the “war”.

That is when we need help.  In the midst of a war — of our making or from someone else — we need a refuge.  A refuge is more than a hide-out.  It is more than a place of peace.  It is a place of safety and protection.  In the midst of conflict that desires to consume us, where do we find a true refuge?  The Psalmist writes, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”  (Psalm 46:1)   Psalm 46 continues by describing some pretty intense conflict.  . . . Though the earth give way.  . . . Though the mountains fall into the sea.  . . . Thought the waters roar and foam and shake the mountains.  . . . Even if the earth itself seems against you, God is a refuge!  Verse 9 says, “He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth.  He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire.”  As I read that, I wondered, “What would make wars cease?” 

That is what took me to the passage in James that I quoted above.  To understand what would make wars cease, it is helpful to know why they exist.  God says they exist because we want and do not get.  To make wars cease we would need to remove the desire for the things we want or we would need to remove the very objects of our desire from existence.  God has the power to do both.  In the context of Psalm 46, we read of the desolation God has brought on the earth.  The desolation would have the result of leaving nothing worth fighting about.  Most of the world’s wars, conflicts, military actions, and whatever else they care to label them, would not have existed if there were nothing in any of the lands of the earth worth protecting or worth taking.  I don’t know of anyone who would wish utter desolation on the earth simply to stop wars from taking place.

There is another way for wars to cease, and that is for our desire to get to be dealt with and removed.  I believe the writer of the Psalm offers that instruction as well as we read in verse 10, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”  God says, “Be still”.  Don’t simply put a lot of effort into not moving, but really be still.  He is talking about an inner stillness — a peace and calm on the inside that can exist because of who God is.  As our inside is still and we “know God”, there is no desire that can remain to get the things of someone else.  The only desire that can remain in this inner calm and peace is the desire to know God.  When we take refuge in God and are “still” before Him, we find that we have nothing worth fighting about. 

I don’t know about you, but to end wars and conflict in my life I would much rather be still before God than experience utter desolation. 

I pray that as you take refuge in the Almighty God, you will “Be still and know that [He] is God.”  May you live a life of peace with others, knowing that between you and them, there is really nothing worth fighting about.